i am a whisper of these words, still heard and heard and heard

The color of burntblue was there on a sunday’s eve
clear skies and murky water like the leftovers of a childhood memory
waveuponwave, like an endless rhythm beats
brave drums beneath a twilight heaven

swing to and fro, softer than a leaf resting on the breeze
the weight of the world was lifted
and taken far away from me—
but still remains this pain
holding a raw and bitter heart—
what questions told not to ask anymore
and still feel their beat in the dark

swollen soul, moving in and out of my mess like a fish,
i catch you in the glance and miss your eye—
though you never miss mine—
when in all my ways you caught me, i don’t know?
and when in all my ways i realized, i'm not alone?
and how will we go from here when we lift the veil of pain?
i really can’t imagine it gone, and me still remain.

swift comes the morning and evening
something is left behind
and i have searched the earth in her age—
only to long and pine
for what, i cannot place it,
a face, a friend i never knew,
dream of a dream i once had as a child,
never forgotten, never renewed?

were i to lift it up, like a rock upon the earth—
what would i find underneath, the grubs, worms, dirt?
oh what ugliness, oh my heart,
oh how i didn’t want to see…

the very knife that is my wound pierces me for the healing,
water and blood flow out

from where i know not
and i am bleeding still—
though whose blood i’ve forgot…